TIA

Do you remember in Blood Diamond when Leonardo DiCaprio keeps saying, "TIA .. This is Africa" whenever something corrupt or dangerous happens? It's sad, but often, that is Africa. There's a lot of beauty there as well, and amazingly good things happening, but it's hard to ignore all the bad.

I haven't posted anything too heavy in a while .. but I'm going to mix something in now. I received a newsletter from a good friend, Helen, in Hong Kong. She's a bit older than me, and a musician. In 1991 she spent a year in Zimbabwe living with a family there and teaching and serving in a clinic. She still talks about Zimbabwe all the time, and keeps a close watch on what's happening there. She never stops praying for the country or trying to find a way she can make a personal impact, even on just one person there. She's an amazing person.

You may remember that several months ago, when I was still in HK, I mentioned Helen and what was happening to her friends, John and Jenny, in Zimbabwe. Basically, John and Jenny are both white (and are from there) and as you may or may not know, that can be a dangerous thing to be in that country. Their neighbors wanted their land, so they accused John and Jenny of training children to overthrow the gorvernment when in fact John and Jenny run Christian camps for children out of their home. John was arrested, and in a place with a very corrupt legal system, he was sure to get the death penalty. Since then a whole series of events came together and Helen ended up going back to Zimbabwe in June to help however she could for a few weeks. I copied and pasted what she wrote below. I just think it’s important to remember that, while we can be so insulated here in the U.S., awful things happen out there that we need to pray for. But I also wanted you to read this because you can see that despite his circumstances, John kept Christ at the center and was able to triumph. I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like - imprisoned when you're innocent and facing death.

Here's what Helen said (Jim is Helen's husband):

In the two weeks I was there, there were many conversations – about memories and events from seemingly so long ago, and all that had happened, especially this year. Can you imagine being wakened at around 2am, with no warning of what was to happen, for your youngest daughter to answer the door and have an AK47 shoved in her face, and then to have military personnel storm your property – over 400 special forces had cordoned off the area surrounding John’s property – and to see helicopter gunships hovering over your home, as you were thrown into the back of a truck and taken to an unknown destination for questioning?

As John described his weeks in prison, in a cholera, HIV, lice infested cell, he also reflected on a theme that Jim and I have heard – and read – so many times from believers who have suffered imprisonment.

‘I was free in there – more free than most people are on the outside. I was free to pray, to read the Word, to share with my fellow prisoners. Bars and locks and prison guards and HIV could not stop those things.’

Many prisoners were severely beaten, and John told me that he would lie on the cell floor at night waiting for the door to open and for him to be taken out for similar punishment. It didn’t happen. When John became so sick that he was finally allowed to be taken to the hospital, he had five armed guards accompany and guard him in intensive care, and leg irons chained to him.

His case was brought to the Supreme Court in early March– and thrown out by the judge. And it had all started with someone wanting to take over his neighbour’s land! John and Jenny have established and run for some years now Tree of Life adventure camps. It is an incredible enterprise which I was able to witness in action when I was there. The accusations against John and his two neighbours were directly linked with these camps- that instead of adventure, activities of a more subversive kind were taking place.

As John and Jenny reminded me again – ‘This is Africa’.

Antonyms: The Silent Killer

I see from my GRE prep book that antonyms are one of the verbal sections on the test. I thought to myself, "That's easy!" and I was wrong. True, many are pretty straightforward, if you're up on your vocabulary, but they really are just lulling you into a false sense of security. I got together with my friend last night to study, and my study sessions with her during college came screaming back. She's one of those people who has an excellent memory. She would never study nearly as much as I did, but come test time and multiple choice answers, she could recognize what she needed to and get the questions right. Overall, I'd know the material better and have a better grasp a lot of the time, but she could ace every test because she just has a memory like that and I don't.

I think I also tend to define words too narrowly. My book warns against that. For example, one word was "mundane" and I know this word, but the definition I gave it didn't work well for finding its opposite, which in this question was "inconsequential." I need to think outside the box. Those are the most frustrating - when I know the root word but still can't figure out from the answer choices which is meant to be the antonym.

So, I wanted to share a little of my pain with you. I've included a few samples below so you too can feel stupid with me (the root word is the capitalized one, and then you have to pick the antonym from the choices below). The answers are at the bottom - no cheating! Let me know how you do! :)

1. EMIT:
a. absorb
b. demand
c. mistake
d. prevent
e. require

2. BOISTEROUS:
a. grateful
b. angry
c. clever
d. frightened
e. quiet

3. EXTANT:
a. extensive
b. extraneous
c. extricable
d. extinct
e. extra

4. TRACTABILITY:
a. infertility
b. implausibility
c. incorrigbility
d. impenetrability
e. indefatigability

5. GIST:
a. artificial manner
b. trivial point
c. informal procedure
d. eccentric method
e. singular event

6. PERFIDY:
a. tact
b. generosity
c. thoroughness
d. loyalty
e. gratitude

7. SQUALID:
a. fervid
b. florid
c. pristine
d. extraneous
e. abundant


Answers:
1. a
2. e
3. d
4. c
5. b
6. d
7. c

Weekend God Spot!

I had an unexpected "God Spot" as Archie calls it this weekend. Lemme 'splain.

I headed down to Port Aransas on Saturday with some friends for a fun day of beaching. We traveled the three hours with minimal sights to see (many of you understand the boring drive down 281 to Corpus from SA), and arrived to a fully packed beach. It was Saturday, after all. But we found a good spot, pitched our shade-providing beach tent, and headed to open water. It was a hot day, and the water was warm. Fish were jumping all over the place, and I got hit in the face by many a wave, the taste of murky salt-water lingering on my palate.

At the end, we were all exhausted so we packed up and headed to Jason's Deli before hitting the road back to SA. After filling our tummies, we got back on the road and made the three hour trek back home.

As we headed into downtown San Antonio to catch I-10 back to the north side, the conversation turned to faith and trust in God. One of the girls in the car struggles with knowing and believing in God's Hand at work, so the other three of us were able to share our own stories with her. She comes from a more formal church background where she doesn't say things like "talking to God" and some of the other things we say so casually. Anyway, it was a cool experience to me at least, getting to share a little about how God works in my life and some Scripture about how He has done miracles for others, and also that God isn't a high-above entity but rather a friend to keep close and chat with like any other friend.

She particularly struggles with the age-old question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I think we've all asked that. We told her there's no way to understand God's decisions and thought-process, but you have to trust He is doing what's right. Also, it's ok to tell God you're mad! In fact, it will make you feel better to get it off your chest, and once you do it often can clear your head a little to see better what He is doing and why.

I love having these totally unsolicited "God Spots." God shows up when I'm exhausted and sunburned, and gives me the excitement to still share about Him even though I'm aching for a shower and bed. He is awesome, and I will keep praying for my friend.

Fun with Words

I have been studying my GRE vocabulary words. I've made some flashcards for 100 of them, but I still very much believe in the method my second grade teacher taught me for learning words - make sentences out of them. So, without further adieu, I have randomly picked eleven of my words and created a paragraph using them. I may sound very pretentious, but apparently that's what I'm supposed to do. It's hard to come up with something using these words, so please give me some leniency. And enjoy!

If there is a lengthy interregnum in any government, chaos is sure to ensue. People will cadge for spare change on street corners and others will engage in peregrination across the country in search of hope, edacious for a virtuous leader. If instead faced with a leader who is a mere crotchet with fusty ideas, they will gainsay his beliefs and even act extempore to bring him down. On the other hand, they may find themselves a leader who lucubrates on high ideals, who is luculent yet firm in speech, and who insists on dazzling panoply in his procession.

The Evil GRE

I have twelve weeks until I take the GRE, on the spooky date of October 31st. I decided it might be helpful if I actually prepared (crazy thought, I know), so I headed to the library and checked out three books on preparing for the GRE.

I set up camp at a nearby Starbucks, and began the foray into test prep. I started with The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Acing the GRE. I have to admit, I’ve always been a fan of the Idiot books. They put everything into easy to understand terms, and that is so helpful when I’m already confused.

The guy who authored this particular guide has worked in standardized testing for years, and the book is actually quite funny as well as informative. He frequently refers to the “evil test” and the “dirty tricks” of the test-makers. He also makes the very valid point that the GRE tests you on how well you take the GRE more than your education. He also explains that no one really thinks your GRE score reflects on how smart you are, since different people test in different ways – it’s just a way for schools to have another survey of your abilities outside of your transcript, since many schools grade differently. Also, so many people apply to school that admissions people need all the help they can get to weed people out.

I think my biggest fear is I can be a bad test taker. It never matters how much I study or how well I know the material. I second guess myself and get flustered. Throw in it being a timed test, and you can forget about it. That isn’t to say I failed every test in school, because I didn’t, and I’m probably being too negative. But I just have a hard time with multiple choice. Some people think multiple choice is the greatest thing ever, but I have always preferred essay tests where I can explain myself and prove that I really know the material, rather than having a hard time reading into a finite question and answer.

So, according to my book, vocabulary is going to make or break it. I thought the math would do me in, but my book assures me, “You learned all of the GRE math by November of your sophomore year of high school” and even better, during the test they provide the necessary formulas. I will need to practice, but I can do arithmetic and algebra. Geometry has always been my weakness in math, but I think I’ll be ok.

The rest of the test is analogies (shoot me!), antonyms, sentence completion and critical reading. Oh, and two essay sections. The book includes the GRE vocabulary list, which is over 1,300 words! Of course, I’m familiar with many (I was an English major after all), but there are quite a few I’ve never heard of and so I’m trying my best to study them.

Please be praying for me these next twelve weeks as I prepare. I know after I take the test, and get into grad school, no one will ever care about my GRE score. And I actually am confident I will do well and get into grad school. I guess I just want to be calm going into the test, and to do as well as I know I can. It’s been a while since I’ve studied for anything, but it’s actually a good feeling to be moving forward with something and to be back in school mode.

Believing Can Be So Hard Sometimes

I had the privilege of leading Bible Study with my small group on Sunday. I don't know how good I am at it, but the truth is I really like doing it. I think it's one of those raw interests I have that I need to work on some more, and I hope I can be a more confident and insightful leader.

Since I got to choose our study, I decided I might as well lead everyone through what I personally have been learning with God. It’s an amalgamation of many things (of course) but through preparing a lesson, I was able to harness these things and try to make some sense into it all, and how it fits together.

My lesson is about faith. I read in Matthew 14 about Peter getting out of the boat. Everything in his understanding tells him he will sink, and yet he gets out anyway without thinking, just because he wants to get to Jesus. Of course he sinks anyway once he takes his eyes off Jesus, but the fact that he even made the step is significant. I also read in Luke 21 about the widow’s offering. She gave everything she had. She didn’t have any written down, charted and graphed 2 year plan of how she was going to survive. She had just a few coins, and she gave them, not knowing how she’d feed herself that night. But Jesus blessed her and she was better off than she had been before.

I heard a speaker at Leadership Summit talk about believing God’s Word is true. If I really believe God’s Word is true, then I believe that He is a Provider, a Comforter, a Friend, a Savior, a Warrior, a Protector, and many other things. But if I am living in fear of the unknown, even when I know God is leading me into it, then am I really believing His Word is true? Isaiah says no weapon formed can withstand God. In Romans, Paul says, “If God is for me, who can be against me?” I know these things are true, that God can overcome anything. So why don’t I always live like I believe that?

In this path God has me on, He’s also made clear a few other things. First, He honors His promises. This can be seen in Joshua 6, when God delivers Jericho to Joshua. Gideon in Judges 7 also sees God follow through when the Midianites are defeated. In both of these cases, I think it’s easy to look back and not realize how difficult it must have been to follow. God gave both of these men what is not exactly sound military advice. Joshua and Gideon both had lives in their hands, and God is telling Joshua to march around the city and shout. He tells Gideon to take a mere hundred men and smash jars. Not exactly hope-inspiring advice when heading into very dangerous situations. They must have had their men at least a little nervous when they announced their plans. Yet they followed through, and God fulfilled His promises.

The next thing I’ve been shown is praising God in the midst of trial. When Jonah is trapped inside the whale, he bursts out in praise. That probably wouldn’t be my natural reaction. In Jonah 2:1-7, he cries out to God not in anger, but in remembrance that God is his refuge and help.

Finally, God has been reminding me that it’s not all about me! Part of living out in faith is the example it gives to other believers and also to non-believers. When Daniel is sealed in the lion’s den, and survives, the king is overwhelmed that the God of Daniel spared him (Daniel 6). When Nebuchadnezzar throws the men in the fire and they do not burn, he says, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego” (Daniel 3:28). I know there have been times in my life where I have been encouraged by the shows of faith of others, and how God keeps them lifted up. And I know I have even had humbling moments where others have been impressed by God’s work in my own life.

I also realize that God doesn’t owe me anything. As I learned through a sermon on Sunday focused on the prodigal son, the older son feels he is owed something by his father because he has never broken any commands. It’s an important lesson, not feeling that just because I do what God says that He owes me riches or anything else. It’s all about relationship and the joy He gives to those who love and serve Him.

That’s a lot of information, and just the tip of the iceberg. It’s a continual process of learning and being molded and formed in the refining fire. I need to wholly surrender and believe everything He says is True, and I hope I will get there.

Irons in the Fire

Hey all. I just wanted to update you so you can be praying. I have some good prospects in front of me as far as other jobs and sources of income, as well as some long-term goals that I had put to the side but am finally picking up again.

I had a fateful run-in with an old college professor last week, and we started shooting emails back and forth and met again this week for lunch. She is so encouraging and positive, and really believes in me and my potential. She also knows lots of people in the non-profit world, and has already talked to someone about a great position for me in their organization. In addition to that, I have another non-profit that potentially wants me to do part-time work for them as well, so I may have some choices. I am committed to BLE first, and my one condition with any other employment is that I need the flexibility to still fulfill my obligations to the BLE ministry. The good thing is there are many things I can do remotely, but I don't want to flake out on BLE when I love their vision and mission, and still know God has things He wants me to do and learn here. But the reality is I need a more stable source of income right now.

The next thing I'm working on is I have finally, after years of putting it off, decided I'm going to take the steps to go back to graduate school. I am going to take the GRE on October 31! It is a four hour exam on a Saturday morning, but I am finally ready to take this giant leap forward in my life. I HATE standardized tests, and will almost certainly have a minor anxiety attack beforehand, but I have to do it. I really don't like any test that's not an essay test. No matter how much I study, I've never been a good test taker. I plan to read up with some prep books and take a few practice tests to get my mind back in school mode.

So now for the next question, what am I going to study? Glad you asked. I want to get .... a Master's in Public Administration! I have been researching it, and know it's the right fit for me. I'll study things like PR Campaigns for Non-Profits, Grant and Technical Writing, Non-Profit Management, Non-Profit Law, Foreign Relations and several history courses. It's a little more slanted for government and politics, but also works well for non-profits and advancing to a career as a Director of Development or Grants Officer. I'm excited!

I also have the opportunity to write a grant proposal for another local non-profit, which will give me a great experience and hopefully get my foot in the door to this as a freelance (and lucrative) profession.

So, I have several irons in the fire. Of course, none of these are going to happen overnight , but I am excited to see them cooking.