Believing Can Be So Hard Sometimes

I had the privilege of leading Bible Study with my small group on Sunday. I don't know how good I am at it, but the truth is I really like doing it. I think it's one of those raw interests I have that I need to work on some more, and I hope I can be a more confident and insightful leader.

Since I got to choose our study, I decided I might as well lead everyone through what I personally have been learning with God. It’s an amalgamation of many things (of course) but through preparing a lesson, I was able to harness these things and try to make some sense into it all, and how it fits together.

My lesson is about faith. I read in Matthew 14 about Peter getting out of the boat. Everything in his understanding tells him he will sink, and yet he gets out anyway without thinking, just because he wants to get to Jesus. Of course he sinks anyway once he takes his eyes off Jesus, but the fact that he even made the step is significant. I also read in Luke 21 about the widow’s offering. She gave everything she had. She didn’t have any written down, charted and graphed 2 year plan of how she was going to survive. She had just a few coins, and she gave them, not knowing how she’d feed herself that night. But Jesus blessed her and she was better off than she had been before.

I heard a speaker at Leadership Summit talk about believing God’s Word is true. If I really believe God’s Word is true, then I believe that He is a Provider, a Comforter, a Friend, a Savior, a Warrior, a Protector, and many other things. But if I am living in fear of the unknown, even when I know God is leading me into it, then am I really believing His Word is true? Isaiah says no weapon formed can withstand God. In Romans, Paul says, “If God is for me, who can be against me?” I know these things are true, that God can overcome anything. So why don’t I always live like I believe that?

In this path God has me on, He’s also made clear a few other things. First, He honors His promises. This can be seen in Joshua 6, when God delivers Jericho to Joshua. Gideon in Judges 7 also sees God follow through when the Midianites are defeated. In both of these cases, I think it’s easy to look back and not realize how difficult it must have been to follow. God gave both of these men what is not exactly sound military advice. Joshua and Gideon both had lives in their hands, and God is telling Joshua to march around the city and shout. He tells Gideon to take a mere hundred men and smash jars. Not exactly hope-inspiring advice when heading into very dangerous situations. They must have had their men at least a little nervous when they announced their plans. Yet they followed through, and God fulfilled His promises.

The next thing I’ve been shown is praising God in the midst of trial. When Jonah is trapped inside the whale, he bursts out in praise. That probably wouldn’t be my natural reaction. In Jonah 2:1-7, he cries out to God not in anger, but in remembrance that God is his refuge and help.

Finally, God has been reminding me that it’s not all about me! Part of living out in faith is the example it gives to other believers and also to non-believers. When Daniel is sealed in the lion’s den, and survives, the king is overwhelmed that the God of Daniel spared him (Daniel 6). When Nebuchadnezzar throws the men in the fire and they do not burn, he says, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego” (Daniel 3:28). I know there have been times in my life where I have been encouraged by the shows of faith of others, and how God keeps them lifted up. And I know I have even had humbling moments where others have been impressed by God’s work in my own life.

I also realize that God doesn’t owe me anything. As I learned through a sermon on Sunday focused on the prodigal son, the older son feels he is owed something by his father because he has never broken any commands. It’s an important lesson, not feeling that just because I do what God says that He owes me riches or anything else. It’s all about relationship and the joy He gives to those who love and serve Him.

That’s a lot of information, and just the tip of the iceberg. It’s a continual process of learning and being molded and formed in the refining fire. I need to wholly surrender and believe everything He says is True, and I hope I will get there.