I had only set one goal for 2010, and that was to run five miles. And I did it this morning!! Yesss!! My body now feels like it's ready to sleep for quite a while, and I was so hungry today from all the calories burned (I walked a bit in addition to the five mile run).
It feels so good to accomplish goals. I look back at a year ago today, and I couldn't even run a mile, and today I ran five. I've learned so much about perseverance, and self-discipline, but mostly about relying on God. As Kerrie has told me for years, I can view this as a metaphor to walking with God (or maybe running with God?). I sometimes forget to pray about a run if it's going well, but when I'm hurting, all I can do is ask God to pull me through. Just like in other areas of my life. But in reality, He is behind everything that happens, whether I acknowledge Him or not. But it's a better relationship when I remember that and include Him in it at all times.
So early this morning, I headed over to my new favorite running spot - the Leon Creek Greenway through O.P. Shnabel Park. If you haven't been over to the new and improved paved pathway they just developed this year, then you need to check it out. I started on Babcock and ended up by Bandera and Mainland, and then doubled back. The last half mile was the hardest, but by that point, I wasn't going to give up. I finished strong, and still had to walk almost two miles back to my car (which was a pain because I was so thirsty!).
Since I went early, and it's New Year's Day, I didn't even see a single soul until near the end of my run, and even then I only saw a few people walking their dogs. It was awesome. Just me, God, and the wilderness. I loved it.
I guess the other 2010 goal I have, in addition to my running goals I have set out in my calendar for this year, is to start graduate school. I plan to do that in the fall. I completed my application just before Christmas, and I feel pretty confident I will be accepted. Then I just need to determine a way to pay for it without loans.
So here's to accomplishing more goals in 2010! I hope and pray it is as productive a year as 2009. Looking forward to it!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Panera Nuns!
Five nuns walk into a Panera.
It's not the beginning of a joke. It's what happened tonight. But that's not even the story.
My friend K (don't want to use her name), whom I do regular Bible Study with, and I were at Panera to talk and study Acts. We got about halfway through the first chapter, and the nuns, while selecting some bagels, started being harassed by some guy. He told them, "Mary was a sinner" over and over again. I'm not sure why. Then he left before the nuns could do anything, and they just kind of shrugged it off.
I had the honor of sitting by the window, and I could see the angry guy now outside, staring in the window at the nuns. He started pacing, then staring some more. It was intense. I just knew he would come back inside and start trouble with the nuns. And sure enough, he did.
He came back in, and started in on the Catholic church. He had a whole lot of issues with things like sacrament, and then at one point started to challenge the ladies on baptism, refuting the need for baptism by water. He obviously knew Scripture and was throwing it at them, and when he spoke of baptism he referenced John. I loved it, because the nun looked at him incredulously and said, "Have you even read John?" because John (and others) specifically state the need for a water baptism.
K and I sat there, angry and frustrated. I could feel my heart racing, but I wasn't sure I needed to go over there and say something or not. The nuns were handling themselves just fine, so instead K and I prayed fervently for them, and the angry guy, at our table. When we finished, the guy was gone and the nuns were back to buying bagels. I got up from the table and went up to them to let them know how awesome I thought they were for responding to him in love and kindness, and for not entering into a debate but just speaking Truth to him and remaining calm and confident in their faith. I let them know K and I had been praying for them, and what we had prayed for specifically. They were so grateful and appreciative, and told me they could feel the prayers. They were so incredibly kind. We talked a bit more about Jesus, and they let me know they are new here, from Alabama. They felt God call them here to a particular ministry, and asked that I continue to pray for them. One nun took my and K's names to pray for us too, and we all wished each other a Merry Christmas. It was so cool. I love how God takes a seemingly negative situation and turns it around to glorify Him.
Then the manager of Panera, who is Catholic and had been defending the ladies, came over to me and K to be sure we weren't too offended by the guy or anything, and assured us that the guy had been told not to return to Panera (his loss). We entered into conversation with him as well about religion, as K and I were sitting there with open Bibles.
It's amazing what God does. K and I could literally feel the evil radiating off that angry guy. Obviously he's been hurt and is channeling his rage at the church, and picking on nuns at Panera (not cool). God allows that to happen, but He also lets us experience the crazy coolness of seeing Him bring that situation back to good and glory. Love it.
It's not the beginning of a joke. It's what happened tonight. But that's not even the story.
My friend K (don't want to use her name), whom I do regular Bible Study with, and I were at Panera to talk and study Acts. We got about halfway through the first chapter, and the nuns, while selecting some bagels, started being harassed by some guy. He told them, "Mary was a sinner" over and over again. I'm not sure why. Then he left before the nuns could do anything, and they just kind of shrugged it off.
I had the honor of sitting by the window, and I could see the angry guy now outside, staring in the window at the nuns. He started pacing, then staring some more. It was intense. I just knew he would come back inside and start trouble with the nuns. And sure enough, he did.
He came back in, and started in on the Catholic church. He had a whole lot of issues with things like sacrament, and then at one point started to challenge the ladies on baptism, refuting the need for baptism by water. He obviously knew Scripture and was throwing it at them, and when he spoke of baptism he referenced John. I loved it, because the nun looked at him incredulously and said, "Have you even read John?" because John (and others) specifically state the need for a water baptism.
K and I sat there, angry and frustrated. I could feel my heart racing, but I wasn't sure I needed to go over there and say something or not. The nuns were handling themselves just fine, so instead K and I prayed fervently for them, and the angry guy, at our table. When we finished, the guy was gone and the nuns were back to buying bagels. I got up from the table and went up to them to let them know how awesome I thought they were for responding to him in love and kindness, and for not entering into a debate but just speaking Truth to him and remaining calm and confident in their faith. I let them know K and I had been praying for them, and what we had prayed for specifically. They were so grateful and appreciative, and told me they could feel the prayers. They were so incredibly kind. We talked a bit more about Jesus, and they let me know they are new here, from Alabama. They felt God call them here to a particular ministry, and asked that I continue to pray for them. One nun took my and K's names to pray for us too, and we all wished each other a Merry Christmas. It was so cool. I love how God takes a seemingly negative situation and turns it around to glorify Him.
Then the manager of Panera, who is Catholic and had been defending the ladies, came over to me and K to be sure we weren't too offended by the guy or anything, and assured us that the guy had been told not to return to Panera (his loss). We entered into conversation with him as well about religion, as K and I were sitting there with open Bibles.
It's amazing what God does. K and I could literally feel the evil radiating off that angry guy. Obviously he's been hurt and is channeling his rage at the church, and picking on nuns at Panera (not cool). God allows that to happen, but He also lets us experience the crazy coolness of seeing Him bring that situation back to good and glory. Love it.
Spoiler Alert: Jesus Wins!
In case anyone wonders, I haven't had any more physical spiritual attacks like I did over the weekend. But that experience has really caused me to be more intentional about guarding myself against evil. I think it's easy to remember the good - Jesus died for us, God loves us, through Him we are made pure. Maybe 'easy' isn't the right word, since I don't think that best describes the Christian life. But overall, I know I for one hardly ever want to think about the devil or give him any space in my brain.
But the reality is, evil exists. And not just because of our sin, but because there is an evil ruler of this world. And Jesus, of course, is victorious over ALL of those things. I think it's good to recognize that there is evil out there, so we can be ready for it when it attacks.
Last night I did have a nightmare about demons attacking me, and while I definitely know it was only a dream this time, I still think God used it to teach me something. After all, He could have chosen not to allow that dream to happen. In the dream, I was in my room, asleep, and was attacked like I was over the weekend. But I got out of bed and started rebuking the demons, and they went away. Yes, it was a bit frightening, but also, I KNOW that God gives us the power to call out evil and to banish it.
God's power is so big and so crazy and so awesome and powerful and cool, but we forget that we can weild it when necessary. I have been reading Psalm 91 before going to bed these past few nights, and also Revelation 19:11-16. Both of these passages remind me of how mighty our God is. In the end, we win!
I also think it's awesome that God is taking this demon attack and turning it into a way to show how much greater He is by putting me deeper in His Word. If darkness attacking was aiming to scare or deter me from God, then I think it's awesome that instead I can turn it around and make it yet another way to give glory to God and search His Word deeper. Take that, evil!
But the reality is, evil exists. And not just because of our sin, but because there is an evil ruler of this world. And Jesus, of course, is victorious over ALL of those things. I think it's good to recognize that there is evil out there, so we can be ready for it when it attacks.
Last night I did have a nightmare about demons attacking me, and while I definitely know it was only a dream this time, I still think God used it to teach me something. After all, He could have chosen not to allow that dream to happen. In the dream, I was in my room, asleep, and was attacked like I was over the weekend. But I got out of bed and started rebuking the demons, and they went away. Yes, it was a bit frightening, but also, I KNOW that God gives us the power to call out evil and to banish it.
God's power is so big and so crazy and so awesome and powerful and cool, but we forget that we can weild it when necessary. I have been reading Psalm 91 before going to bed these past few nights, and also Revelation 19:11-16. Both of these passages remind me of how mighty our God is. In the end, we win!
I also think it's awesome that God is taking this demon attack and turning it into a way to show how much greater He is by putting me deeper in His Word. If darkness attacking was aiming to scare or deter me from God, then I think it's awesome that instead I can turn it around and make it yet another way to give glory to God and search His Word deeper. Take that, evil!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Spiritual Attack
Last night I had my third encounter with a very real spiritual attack. Yes, we all get spiritually attacked, but how often are we physically attacked by the spiritual?
Some of you may remember my experience in January which was terrifying. I hesitate to share these stories, because I don't want people to think I'm crazy, but there are very real spiritual enemies out there.
I had a restless night last night. And around 5 am, I was startled awake with the feel that I couldn't move or speak and felt a very real sense that something was preventing me from moving. I wanted so badly to pray, but I couldn't say anything out loud. Finally I got the words out, and prayed out loud. But I had an overwhelming urge of sleepiness that I couldn't shake. I shifted to my back, and as soon as I started to give in to the sleepiness, I felt a pressure, like someone sat on my chest. My eyes were open, so I know I was awake. I couldn't move or speak. But in my head, I was in control, and began to pray and will myself to pray out loud. Soon I could speak and as soon as I started praying, it went away. I kept praying, and then my alarm went off (I get up early on Saturdays to run). I needed to get out for a bit, so I gladly got up and went for my workout.
I know it's easy to say, "You were just having a nightmare" or "you just have an active imagination." But for those who have had similar things happen (and I know many of you have) then you understand. Something within you just knows it is more than an imagined thing. And even if they are nightmares, they are definitely not of God.
I'll keep praying, and knowing that Jesus is more powerful than anything of this world. Even though I hate these experiences, they are good reminders of God's sovereign power and that He gives us the ability to wield that power against evil.
Some of you may remember my experience in January which was terrifying. I hesitate to share these stories, because I don't want people to think I'm crazy, but there are very real spiritual enemies out there.
I had a restless night last night. And around 5 am, I was startled awake with the feel that I couldn't move or speak and felt a very real sense that something was preventing me from moving. I wanted so badly to pray, but I couldn't say anything out loud. Finally I got the words out, and prayed out loud. But I had an overwhelming urge of sleepiness that I couldn't shake. I shifted to my back, and as soon as I started to give in to the sleepiness, I felt a pressure, like someone sat on my chest. My eyes were open, so I know I was awake. I couldn't move or speak. But in my head, I was in control, and began to pray and will myself to pray out loud. Soon I could speak and as soon as I started praying, it went away. I kept praying, and then my alarm went off (I get up early on Saturdays to run). I needed to get out for a bit, so I gladly got up and went for my workout.
I know it's easy to say, "You were just having a nightmare" or "you just have an active imagination." But for those who have had similar things happen (and I know many of you have) then you understand. Something within you just knows it is more than an imagined thing. And even if they are nightmares, they are definitely not of God.
I'll keep praying, and knowing that Jesus is more powerful than anything of this world. Even though I hate these experiences, they are good reminders of God's sovereign power and that He gives us the ability to wield that power against evil.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
More Life Lessons
If you have never watched the show The West Wing, then your life is sadly unfulfilled. It is an awesome show. It's about the senior staff and the president, working in .. you guessed it, the West Wing of the White House.
It really doesn't get to me too much, it's just periodically I have a mild panic attack when I realize what I do affects others. It's a good thing to effect change, but it's also a responsibility not to take lightly. But overall, I am blessed, and I know that.
One thing I have been thinking about lately is something one of the characters said. CJ, who is the press secretary (I could never ever do her job), one time looked at the other senior staff (president, chief of staff, etc) and said something to the effect of, "Do you ever think to yourself, if we're the ones running this country, we're in trouble?"
I thought that was so funny, and also so, so true. Granted, my job isn't impac
ting the lives of the entire American people, and the entire world, like theirs do. But sometimes I do get overwhelmed if I really let myself dwell on some of the big meetings I attend, or how my input into a project winds up affecting others, or just generally how I'm no longer operating over a net, so to speak. This is the real world, with real consequences, and I need to keep focused and my head on straight. I guess this realization is just part of 'growing up.' And at 27, I am apparently supposed to be a grown up.
ting the lives of the entire American people, and the entire world, like theirs do. But sometimes I do get overwhelmed if I really let myself dwell on some of the big meetings I attend, or how my input into a project winds up affecting others, or just generally how I'm no longer operating over a net, so to speak. This is the real world, with real consequences, and I need to keep focused and my head on straight. I guess this realization is just part of 'growing up.' And at 27, I am apparently supposed to be a grown up. It really doesn't get to me too much, it's just periodically I have a mild panic attack when I realize what I do affects others. It's a good thing to effect change, but it's also a responsibility not to take lightly. But overall, I am blessed, and I know that.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Single Life
I just had the funniest conversation with my co-worker. She is 39, single and Christian. She's never been married and has no children. Our discussion was about being single in the church. Her perspective was a little different, since most single people she knows in church that are her age are divorced or widowed, and at least at my grand age of 27, I still know single people who have never been married. But the heart of what we were talking about was what it's like not to have many single people our age that we can share life with.
I love, love, love my married friends. And I also love and enjoy my singlehood, so this is in no way a slight to married's or a sadfest for singledom. But I do sometimes wish I had more single friends that just understand what it's like to be on your own and in a career. Seems most of the singles are college kids or much older and divorced with kids. I don't want to hang out with 19-year-olds who have never had a real job, and I've never been married, divorced or a parent. It can also be difficult when so many church activities are oriented toward children, and again, I don't have kids.
My co-worker and I had a great time laughing over times we've been thrown the "Paul was single" card, been told, "You're single, so you have so much free time and can volunteer for X project!", couples think you're bitter on Valentine's Day, or being told when a lesson on marriage is discussed that "you'll appreciate this advice some day." Ah, we had a good laugh and a fun, but honest, discussion. I really love my life, I really do.
For a super funny whimsical look at Christian singlehood, you should check out the scorecard on the Stuff Christians Like blog. It makes me laugh!! :)
I love, love, love my married friends. And I also love and enjoy my singlehood, so this is in no way a slight to married's or a sadfest for singledom. But I do sometimes wish I had more single friends that just understand what it's like to be on your own and in a career. Seems most of the singles are college kids or much older and divorced with kids. I don't want to hang out with 19-year-olds who have never had a real job, and I've never been married, divorced or a parent. It can also be difficult when so many church activities are oriented toward children, and again, I don't have kids.
My co-worker and I had a great time laughing over times we've been thrown the "Paul was single" card, been told, "You're single, so you have so much free time and can volunteer for X project!", couples think you're bitter on Valentine's Day, or being told when a lesson on marriage is discussed that "you'll appreciate this advice some day." Ah, we had a good laugh and a fun, but honest, discussion. I really love my life, I really do.
For a super funny whimsical look at Christian singlehood, you should check out the scorecard on the Stuff Christians Like blog. It makes me laugh!! :)
Friday, December 4, 2009
Awakening
I just finished a Bible Study last week on the book of Mark that I've been doing with a new believer. We started Acts this week, and I have to say I am learning so much during these studies! Reading these books with someone who is reading the stories for the first time is a great reminder to me of how amazing each story is! She has so many questions, and they challenge me to be prepared, and to really understand what I am talking about. Reading the finale to Mark and explaining why the torn curtain is significant, for example, has just refreshed the significance of these many incredible things for me.
We decided to move on to Acts next because she keeps hearing about this guy named Paul but doesn't know who he is or why he's so important. Paul doesn't even show up in Acts until chapter 8 or 9, and so far we've only gotten to chapter 4. I am trying not to get ahead of myself and tell her all about Paul and forgo what we're currently reading at the beginning of Acts, but it's hard because I get excited. And she just drinks it all in, she's so interested and excited to learn! I can't believe what a blessing it is to have this refreshment in my life right now. To be around a new believer who just wants to know everything and take it all in is really something special. I am so glad God is letting me be a part of this experience!
We decided to move on to Acts next because she keeps hearing about this guy named Paul but doesn't know who he is or why he's so important. Paul doesn't even show up in Acts until chapter 8 or 9, and so far we've only gotten to chapter 4. I am trying not to get ahead of myself and tell her all about Paul and forgo what we're currently reading at the beginning of Acts, but it's hard because I get excited. And she just drinks it all in, she's so interested and excited to learn! I can't believe what a blessing it is to have this refreshment in my life right now. To be around a new believer who just wants to know everything and take it all in is really something special. I am so glad God is letting me be a part of this experience!
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