Confirmations and Roasted Goose

All week, as I've been setting my sights on leaving and all that needs to be done before that, I have been grappling with the sadness and trying to cling to knowing that it is in fact the right decision to go. I particularly have been asking Him for people to speak to me words of encouragement and wisdom to give me added peace and confirmation.

And He has delivered.

All week, I keep having 'random' conversations with people who have been so attentive at listening to me, and sharing their own stories of times they've departed from China and how it was to re-enter into their home country. We shared feelings and anecdotes, talked about how it can be difficult to explain Chinese culture to people who have never been, and especially how challenging it is trying to describe your life here and the work you have been doing. It was actually really encouraging to me to hear everyone say they have just as much trouble, and we could sort of feel connected in knowing that. And it was nice to feel that connection.

Tonight I went to a roasted duck place with a group of friends (more on that below if you want one of my culture snapshots). I was very blessed because on the way home, I had really good conversation with a lady named Cindy who I've known but haven't spent too much time with. She and her husband live in northern China running an orphanage, but the government recently shut them down and they've had to move to southern China and leave their heart behind and start over. Just hearing her share about their 12 years of work in China was incredible. And she let me share my heart with her too, and as we sat on the frigid bus with water dripping in our laps from the air conditioner, I was able to really talk openly about my call back home, and it was so helpful to talk out what my fears are, and also what miracles have already happened. And she was a great listener, and really fed into me her stories and insights. I am very grateful for that bus ride.

So, He answers. He provides. He brings encouragement and peace to re-confirm your movements to follow Him. I am still crying, but am becoming more and more able to release this life here, and still make life back home just as significant.

So about the goose place. I was thinking about how the experience of eating a family style Chinese meal in China can't even compare to one anywhere else. It's so much more than the food - it's the noise of the many other people in the cramped little restaurant. Live fish of all sizes are in tanks shoved on shelves so you can pick which fresh fish you like. Waiters and staff lean right over you to put dishes down, they yell instructions across the table at other workers, and it just is very chaotic (Cantonese for some reason is always so loud, and much harsher than Mandarin). It takes a good 30 minutes to even order food because everyone wants to input their preferences, and then we have to filter the order to our waiter through the people in our group who speak Chinese. The food comes out in stages, and everyone is spinning the lazy susan around to get different dishes, sauces and meat and other bits are spilled everywhere as slippery food escapes the communal chopsticks. And the goose still has its head on by the way. The tea empties quickly since there are many of us, but a shout across the room to someone brings a refill promptly. There is no such thing as customer service or a waiter taking special care of you. When you want something, you wave your hands around until someone sees you, or you simply yell across the restaurant at them. People are very practical, so they lean right over you as you eat because it's the easiest route for them to get a plate to the table. Or they are very abrupt when speaking to you and asking for your order. I think if you were new, you would think they were very rude and definitely find it a bizarre experience. But I had a great time, and I'm glad I got to have one more dinner like this before I leave. I am just taking it all in.